My thoughts about your inner thoughts.

It's time to take a good hard look in the mirror

Yesterday is gone, and so can the person you used to be. Today is a new day, a new opportunity to become the person you always wanted to be or maybe just fine-tune the rad person you already are.

My thoughts about your inner thoughts.

We as humans (especially women) seem to always be striving for more, something better. Personally, I think it is a good thing because it helps us grow as people. As a hairstylist, I am always amazed to see ladies 80 years old coming into the salon for their weekly roller sets. I admire their desire to look their best even at that age. Admirable for sure, but also a double-edged sword. There comes a point where you need to back off, cut yourself some slack, and say, "Good Enough." Here is how to do it.

First of all, STOP COMPARING yourself to others!

Do you ever look at old photos of yourself and think, "Where did that tiny waist, tight-skinned girl go?" And to think that girl wasn't happy with her body then; oh, you silly little girl. Did you ever compare yourself to your spouse's exes, your co-workers, your Facebook friends, or complete Instagram strangers? Yeah, me too. It was a really bad habit that ended only one way: feeling jealous, insecure, and just not good enough.

One of my biggest mental milestones happened in my 30s. I decided instead of feeling this way towards others, I was going to celebrate their success (especially other women) even if the thought didn't leave my head. I'd think, "Cute hat, pretty hair, wow she's brave, dang I'd love to party with her, or she's not being rude, I think she's just shy."

When a mean or insecure thought would start to develop in my mind, I would quickly replace it with a kind, positive one. And guess what, it felt amazing doing so inside! You got to give love to get it.

I've been practicing yoga for a few years now; it keeps the stress level down and is good for my aging body. I would totally recommend it. Feeling pretty good about my skill level, I wanted to find something a little more challenging. I stumbled onto a YouTube channel called, Boho Beautiful. Well, that title is an understatement; this yoga instructor is cute as a button and has THE most perfect body I have ever seen in my life! Not only that, but what she can do with it, oh my goodness. Now the old Bec would have been super jealous and annoyed with her and found some way to insult her to lessen my insecurities. Now I'd be like, "Dang, this girl is hot and an amazing athlete, and I am so thankful that she is sharing her craft to help me do those things that I admire about her!" Same situation, totally different take on it.

Comparing wasn't just about looks either. I'd compare my self-worth by the car I drove, the clothes I wore, my professional career, and you know the problem with that? There are so many I have to list them!

1. Stuff is just stuff. Anyone can buy a nice home or nice car, but it doesn't mean they have money. Trust me, I worked in financing. Most people (including myself at times) are in debt up to their eyeballs.

2. Just because they fluff their career and business on social media doesn't mean they don't have a Debbie Downer co-worker or have bad years in their business. In fact, if they are creating an illusion, then they are doing a good job because they captured your attention, and you probably will buy the product or service they are selling!

3. I think it is only human nature to compare, and it can be healthy to do so, but if you are going to compare yourself to anyone, it should be to the person you were yesterday! Are you a better person today? Did you handle stressful situations better today? Did you stop and enjoy a funny meme or laugh at your spouse's joke? Did you actually taste the food you ate today, and were you happy to have it?

We will always desire to become more and to possess more, but how can we be sure we've achieved more if we can't acknowledge it in the present moment?

The Lesson Learned:

Laugh at the messed-up situations you get yourself into. Understand that no one's life is perfect. Love that balding head and every dimple in those thighs. Control the judgmental thoughts about yourself and others. Replace them with admiring, congratulatory thoughts. If you come across someone who has something you like, admire it, make a study of it, ask them how to get it. Put in the time, sweat, and tears to have that body, career, relationship, and belonging that looks so great from the outside while still appreciating and enjoying the milestones you already achieved. Be kind to yourself. Be proud of yourself!